Day 28

Here we go baby! One week left, so I'm going to be so impressive you won't recognize me. I'm in a different place than when I started this. I really think I can stick to this for a week solid!

Hardest challenges: Dr. Pepper and not eating out.

Strategies: Propel and home made garlic potatoe corn chowder!

Day 25

Ten days left. If I'd really been conditioning my body as I should have, this would be known as the 'sprint' portion of the marathon where I run full out, aka: give it all up cold turkey until Easter.

But I haven't. I have made a few important changes in my life. I'm reading more and watching TV less. I've actually found that given a good book, I much prefer it to the junk on television anyway. I'm buying better food, even if I'm not always eating it before it goes bad. I'm swearing less, and saying more positive things. And then there is the Dr. Pepper challenge. . . .

I have a new game plan for this: I'm giving myself a dollar everytime I say no to Dr. Pepper. This means, when the temptation is great and there is no reason for me to resist, but I do anyway. My jar has $4.00 in it. This has been my best incentive so far. Not because money is my greatest motivator. I think it's more that I can visually give myself positive reinforcement for good choices. And I am learning not to dispise water as much as I always have - As long as the conditions are perfect: clear glass, lots of ice, cold water.

I've never seen the show, but my friend says all of the things I'm trying to change are considered my SSB: Secret Single Behavior. It's from the show Sex in the City. Apparently the episode focuses on how everyone has behavior that is less than polite or productive when nobody is watching. I'm glad to know that the challenges I'm trying to overcome are common enough for night time television comedies. I also like to have a name for my bad habits: SSB. It sounds so much better than incredibly-lazy-single-girl-wastes-away-on-her-couch disease.

Day 19

Does reducing the amount of Dr. Pepper I drink Tuesday - Thursday count as breaking my habit? For example, if I go from drinking a 32 oz. drink with not much ice, to a 16 oz. with plenty of ice, is that a positive step forward? Too bad they don't have caffeine patches to help you overcome this addiction. They could call the product Caffeinette or Nicoreine. What do you think? If you patent this, I want 40% of the stock. -I figure I deserve it, since I'll probably keep your company in business with how much I buy!

Day 18

Half way. Which works, because I'm half the woman I want to be!

So I am labeling this blog 'Perspective.' That is the word I have thought a lot about with this experiment. This isn't an actual scientific experiment, so I have realized I have no accurate tool for measuring my success or failure, or determining which habits are improving or hurting my life. It's all about my perspective of what I 'think' is making a difference. Two situations in my life lately have caused me to focus on this. The first involved a lot of poor assumtions made, which affected my interactions with someone in my life. The assumptions that were incorrectly made severly effected my perspective of this individual.

I'll use the second situation was directly connected to my experiment. My brother and sister-in-law were in a car accident this weekend during that terrible storm. They miraculously slid over an overpass and down the other side without rolling onto the freeway, or smashing into the K rails on either side. When we saw the space that their car fit through and the steep hill they slide down, I said, "It is a miracle you made it through that space without damaging your car or being injured." Jokingly he said, "It wasn't a miracle. The miracle would have been hitting the K rail so the car didn't go down the other side, and avoiding the three hour wait in the snow for the tow truck altogether!"

Perspective. Of course, he was joking, and feels very blessed that both of them walked away unharmed. But it really made me think about how I am viewing this whole experience. I could assume studying God's word every morning did or did not affect the guidance I felt in going home with my mom this weekend. Some of you would say it didn't. Some of you would insist it did. I could assume that attempting to delay my need for instant gratification in the form of Dr. Pepper wasn't helping me feel less tired, or healthier. Or I could change my perspective and realize that I've experienced a lot of character growth as a result. Again, which side would you take?

I guess the new criteria I will be using is my perspective. I choose to see the miracle. It doesn't change the actualities in my life. But it is changing my life in actuality.

Day 15

Nothing like a six-hour-white-knuckle drive to Cedar City in a blizzard to sharpen the senses!

I was supposed to go to Cedar this weekend for the most adorable nephew in the world's birthday party and to listen to Sam and Jamie speak in church. After all the driving I've been doing, I had decided to tell my brothers that I just couldn't stand doing another drive and gracefully bow out.

The plan was to catch a ride home with my mom, who came back to my house to pick up her luggage. I had told her I wasn't coming, and she had loaded her bag. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to go. So with a gentle nudge from Sid, I changed my mind at the last second, threw some clothes in a bag and jumped in her car.

Call it a prompting, call it logic and stubbornness, I choose to call it the results of the spiritual changes from this diet. Whatever it was, I needed to be in that car with my mom. The drive was stressful, her wipers were broken and iced over, and the thought of her having had to endure that alone make me ever grateful I was with her! And of course I'm sure she was grateful too, as I, on more than one occasion, jumped out of the car (on I-15) and deiced her windows with semis and cars all around us!

I've definitely had my adventure for the week!

Day 14

Here we are at the end of the second week of my five week diet. Holy Rusted Metal Batman! That means I'm nearing the half way point. Half way to CHANGING MY ENTIRE LIFE. . . .right. . .

I refuse to take an inventory of the passed week. It was disastrous! That is about all I can say for it. The work week I had made me realize why all of my bad habits have started: Work! Late nights and early mornings. I can do one or the other. But not both.

I can't even update this blog on a daily basis, let alone tackle the half a dozen bad habits I've accrued over the past year. Good thing I don't have a goldfish, it would probably be floating by now!

Day 13

While it's been an emotionally exhausting week, my mom is back visiting. Something about a mom makes you pertend to have good habits? Didn't get up on time, but I did avoid any bad language and didn't watch TV after 11:00 last night (although she did - maybe that is where I get that insomnia!). And here it is 1:00 PM on a Friday and I haven't had my caffeinated beverage yet! Will I make it through the day? Probably not. But I'm determined to be on my best behavior for mommy dearest! And I think I need all the good karma points I can get for not drinking Dr. Pepper on a 'Dr. Pepper Approved Day.'

Trying to analyze if I am cranky because I haven't been following my good habits, or if I haven't been following my good habits because I'm cranky. Not sure I can scientifically prove this one way or the other. But my brother would say I'm cranky because I'm Erin!

Day 12

Wow, I've used this blog to give myself accountability and encourage myself to stick to my goals. I didn't really think all my loved ones would hold my nose to it, and follow up with my to make sure I'm going through with things!

Yes, you may notice that Day 9 - 11 are mysteriously missing. I think you can guess what happened. I fell off the wagon. Or is it that I'm back on the wagon? Not really sure how that works. I'm either back on the wagon of Laziness, or I fell off the wagon of Good Habits. You decide.

All I know is that this routine I'm working on is so easy to grasp in theory, but so difficult in application. Especially with a schedule like mine. Not that there is any excuse. But working late nights and early mornings has really strengthened my self-justification of certain bad habits. I feel I have to eat out, for instance, because I'm on the run and traveling every day. But in actuality, I could still make better food choices regardless. Or giving in to my Dr. Pepper monster just because I'm so tired (yes, I get that if I kicked the habit I wouldn't be as tired from all the sugar crashes, so don't try to 'educate' me).

Anyway, as you can tell, this isn't a happy blog about how much of a difference I can feel from all these changes. Mostly, this week, I feel I've taken on a few too many changes at once, and my body revolted against all of them!

Happy blogging. Maybe tomorrow, I'll sacrifice my Dr. Pepper day, resist swearing altogether, go to bed early, and get up and study. Then I'll pop a Prozac and write something positive!

Day 8

It's my second Sunday. It seems appropriate to focus on how my spiritual goals are going.

I learned something really amazing about God this week. Amazing, and humbling. I realized that I needed to make some spiritual improvements in my life. That is perhaps the biggest reason why I started this experiment. But in doing so, I also realized turning my spiritual life into an 'experiment' would be a little hypocritical to the Lord.

And indeed, when I knelt down to pray on Day 1, I felt nothing but hypocrisy on my lips. It was almost like I was saying, "Okay God, I'm giving you 35 days. 35 days that I'm going to pay closer attention to our relationship. 35 days to be a fair weather friend." And true to that feeling, it was a hollow experience.

But lovingly, despite my reasons for returning to a more intimate form of communication with Him, He has instilled me with a few glimpses this week of his Tender Mercies. Mostly this is personal, so I won't discuss it here, but I do feel to be true to this experiment, I need to document it here. This week has left me feeling more inspired. And humbled to know that even though my effort has been embarrassingly small, the Lord has doubled that effort in return, and that leaves me with an incredible sense of HOPE!

Day 7

One week down. It seems appropriate to get out my checklist and see what I've managed to accomplish this week.

• Financial: Bring my lunch 4 times a week. I actually surprised myself here. I made my lunch three times. That is more than I expected. And what is more, I'm sort of loving it. I love not having to leave a tip, or spend more than I actually eat. I even managed to enjoy a few of the left overs from my dinners. I felt very savvy in this goal! I'm giving myself a B+ in this category because I'm the teacher, so there!


• Spiritual: Twice daily communication with the Lord. Study the Good Book each morning. This is one of the more challenging habits to recreate. I used to be so great at it. I hate to admit, but I noticed a direct correlation between this goal and the goal on going to bed on time! When I organized my night and went to sleep on time in my own bed, getting up was easier and I felt less rushed in the morning and had more time to study and pray.


• Social: Home by 11:00 on school nights. No TV after that time. Proud to say I aced the home by 11 PM section! And 4/5 on the no TV after that time. I did have a relapse the night I got my blackberry as I stayed up late playing with it in front of my TV.


• Physical: Get out of bed on time. A+ Didn't always enjoy this, but made it happen! No caffeine Tuesday - Thursday. I made it T-W. 66%. What is that a D+? This is definitely not a grade I'm used to seeing! But I knew this would be one of my more difficult changes. Mostly it's a social challenge. I can see now why it would be hard to go to a bar and not order alcohol if you used to drink. Honestly, when it comes time to make a beverage selection, nothing else has any appeal. So this is obviously going to take more time or more willpower! I think I will stick to the plan to eliminate caffeine three days a week, but change the days to Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Give myself a mid-week reward.

• Mental: One swear word a day. Since I'm grading this test, I'm giving myself a solid A-. My number of swear words averaged one a day. Does that count. Of course Sam told me if I got to the end of the day and hadn't sworn I better hurry and say one so as not to have wasted the day!

• Emotional: Don't participate in criticism of others. . . . I followed the adage, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. But I'm not sure this is really working for me. Here is where I give myself my first F, and hang my head in shame.

As you can see. Lots of work ahead. Lots of terrible habits still in need of change. But at the end of the day, I think I was a better human being this week. And that counts for something.

Day 6

Day 5

Want to cure a bad habit? Replace it with a different habit. Isn't that what we've been taught?

Well, I think I've stumbled on to my saving grace in overcoming late night television viewing and the need for caffeine. I call it: The Crackberry! Yep, I converted this week to a media phone. And I have to say, it may be the answer to a lot of my problems!

I thought I would live this regimented schedule for 35 days without fail. What I am finding is that I set far too many goals for myself to live them all perfectly. The human failing in me (aka: Meredith) says, "You didn't have any Dr. Pepper today, you deserve to stay up late watching TV." Or, "You didn't swear at all yesterday, so why not use two today to make up for it!" More difficult than overcoming bad habits, is overcoming self justification!

One thing I would change in doing this experiment again is that I have given myself far too many variables. If I start feeling more energy I can't really say whether it's because I am drinking less caffeine and simple sugars, I'm getting up earlier, going to bed earlier, or studying the gospel. I mean, why change all of these behaviors, if only one is making a difference:)

Day 4

I found this great quote as I was working on my spiritual goal of studying a conference talk by President Uchtdorf. I laughed right out loud when I read it, because it goes along so well with my training program:

He said, "How the Lord loves the laborer!" Then he quoted President Monson, "It is not enough to want to make the effort and to say we'll make the effort. It's in the doing not just the thinking that we accomplish our goals."

Ironic that I stumbled upon this quote this week. Or was it? I have to say, I'm not sure if it is the energy of getting up on time and having the time to study, or in the studying itself, but I am finding myself inspired again. There is nothing that compares to that little twitter in your soul when you feel you've hit on something meant especially for you from the Lord!

On the other hand, Meredith wishes the Lord loved the ideal man as much as the laborer!

Day 3

My mom came to visit and spent the night. Picture the most accomplished professional woman you know. Add to that compassion, sass, and deep intelligence. That is my mama! So going to bed on time and getting up on time was a breeze. After all, I couldn't very well have her disappointed in me! Although she frowned when she saw my no cursing goal. I think she sees '0' as a more appropriate amount of swearing.

But despite the great start, today has been the biggest challenge to my will power yet. I say that like it's been weeks and weeks. That is right folks, today was my first Dr. Pepper free day in a long time! Occasionally I've cut down on how much I drink a day. Occasionally I just don't have one because I'm not feeling like it. But it has been a while since I wanted one and didn't give in to that desire.

I even put myself in the line of temptation by accompanying my coworker to the corner 7-11 where we generally talk to Abdul the cashier for a minute and fill up our soda cups. I think Abdul was happy to see us, but definitely gave me an odd look when I purchased a bag of ice instead of a Big Gulp! But I held my ground, despite the odd looks from my fellow 7-11 big gulp addicts!

It wasn't a perfect day. I still had a sodalater, just not a caffeinated one. But to balance that out, I didn't use my one free swear word today. "Does that mean you get two tomorrow?"

. . . Shut up Meredith!

The odd thing about this experiment so far, is that I am so focused on the rules, I haven't really been paying attention to whether or not I feel better living a more regimented life. I guess it's like weight watchers. At first you can do nothing else but count the points, and eventually it comes naturally and you've lost ten pounds.

Day 2

I'm pretty sure if you dissected my brain and ran experiments on it, you'd discover that Checklists create the same mental euphoria for me as Valium does!

At least that is how I felt this morning as I tried in earnest not to disappoint myself before I even got out of bed! Let me run you through the conversation I had with myself this morning (Yes, talking to myself is another side affect I've developed from living alone, but I can only handle so many changes at a time).

Alarm goes off . . .
Me: I should get up now.
Meredith (my alter ego): I know I can be ready in 45 minutes, so what is the logic of getting an earlier start?
Me: Good point.
Meredith: On the other hand, you could check it off your list if you did get up.
Me: Say no more!

That is how it happened folks! It wasn't the logic of 'Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy and very wise.' It wasn't the amazing enthusiasm I've developed for the Skinny Girl's Diet. The only thing that got me out of bed early was the neurotic pleasure I receive from mentally checking something off my list!

Question: If I use my neurosis to cure my bad habits, have I developed another bad habit? Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that!

Day 1

I think I hate this! More failure than success today.