Wow, I've used this blog to give myself accountability and encourage myself to stick to my goals. I didn't really think all my loved ones would hold my nose to it, and follow up with my to make sure I'm going through with things!
Yes, you may notice that Day 9 - 11 are mysteriously missing. I think you can guess what happened. I fell off the wagon. Or is it that I'm back on the wagon? Not really sure how that works. I'm either back on the wagon of Laziness, or I fell off the wagon of Good Habits. You decide.
All I know is that this routine I'm working on is so easy to grasp in theory, but so difficult in application. Especially with a schedule like mine. Not that there is any excuse. But working late nights and early mornings has really strengthened my self-justification of certain bad habits. I feel I have to eat out, for instance, because I'm on the run and traveling every day. But in actuality, I could still make better food choices regardless. Or giving in to my Dr. Pepper monster just because I'm so tired (yes, I get that if I kicked the habit I wouldn't be as tired from all the sugar crashes, so don't try to 'educate' me).
Anyway, as you can tell, this isn't a happy blog about how much of a difference I can feel from all these changes. Mostly, this week, I feel I've taken on a few too many changes at once, and my body revolted against all of them!
Happy blogging. Maybe tomorrow, I'll sacrifice my Dr. Pepper day, resist swearing altogether, go to bed early, and get up and study. Then I'll pop a Prozac and write something positive!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Day 8
It's my second Sunday. It seems appropriate to focus on how my spiritual goals are going.
I learned something really amazing about God this week. Amazing, and humbling. I realized that I needed to make some spiritual improvements in my life. That is perhaps the biggest reason why I started this experiment. But in doing so, I also realized turning my spiritual life into an 'experiment' would be a little hypocritical to the Lord.
And indeed, when I knelt down to pray on Day 1, I felt nothing but hypocrisy on my lips. It was almost like I was saying, "Okay God, I'm giving you 35 days. 35 days that I'm going to pay closer attention to our relationship. 35 days to be a fair weather friend." And true to that feeling, it was a hollow experience.
But lovingly, despite my reasons for returning to a more intimate form of communication with Him, He has instilled me with a few glimpses this week of his Tender Mercies. Mostly this is personal, so I won't discuss it here, but I do feel to be true to this experiment, I need to document it here. This week has left me feeling more inspired. And humbled to know that even though my effort has been embarrassingly small, the Lord has doubled that effort in return, and that leaves me with an incredible sense of HOPE!
I learned something really amazing about God this week. Amazing, and humbling. I realized that I needed to make some spiritual improvements in my life. That is perhaps the biggest reason why I started this experiment. But in doing so, I also realized turning my spiritual life into an 'experiment' would be a little hypocritical to the Lord.
And indeed, when I knelt down to pray on Day 1, I felt nothing but hypocrisy on my lips. It was almost like I was saying, "Okay God, I'm giving you 35 days. 35 days that I'm going to pay closer attention to our relationship. 35 days to be a fair weather friend." And true to that feeling, it was a hollow experience.
But lovingly, despite my reasons for returning to a more intimate form of communication with Him, He has instilled me with a few glimpses this week of his Tender Mercies. Mostly this is personal, so I won't discuss it here, but I do feel to be true to this experiment, I need to document it here. This week has left me feeling more inspired. And humbled to know that even though my effort has been embarrassingly small, the Lord has doubled that effort in return, and that leaves me with an incredible sense of HOPE!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Day 7
One week down. It seems appropriate to get out my checklist and see what I've managed to accomplish this week.
- Financial: Bring my lunch 4 times a week. I actually surprised myself here. I made my lunch three times. That is more than I expected. And what is more, I'm sort of loving it. I love not having to leave a tip, or spend more than I actually eat. I even managed to enjoy a few of the left overs from my dinners. I felt very savvy in this goal! I'm giving myself a B+ in this category because I'm the teacher, so there!
- Spiritual: Twice daily communication with the Lord. Study the Good Book each morning. This is one of the more challenging habits to recreate. I used to be so great at it. I hate to admit, but I noticed a direct correlation between this goal and the goal on going to bed on time! When I organized my night and went to sleep on time in my own bed, getting up was easier and I felt less rushed in the morning and had more time to study and pray.
- Social: Home by 11:00 on school nights. No TV after that time. Proud to say I aced the home by 11 PM section! And 4/5 on the no TV after that time. I did have a relapse the night I got my blackberry as I stayed up late playing with it in front of my TV.
- Physical: Get out of bed on time. A+ Didn't always enjoy this, but made it happen! No caffeine Tuesday - Thursday. I made it T-W. 66%. What is that a D+? This is definitely not a grade I'm used to seeing! But I knew this would be one of my more difficult changes. Mostly it's a social challenge. I can see now why it would be hard to go to a bar and not order alcohol if you used to drink. Honestly, when it comes time to make a beverage selection, nothing else has any appeal. So this is obviously going to take more time or more willpower! I think I will stick to the plan to eliminate caffeine three days a week, but change the days to Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Give myself a mid-week reward.
- Mental: One swear word a day. Since I'm grading this test, I'm giving myself a solid A-. My number of swear words averaged one a day. Does that count. Of course Sam told me if I got to the end of the day and hadn't sworn I better hurry and say one so as not to have wasted the day!
- Emotional: Don't participate in criticism of others. . . . I followed the adage, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. But I'm not sure this is really working for me. Here is where I give myself my first F, and hang my head in shame.
As you can see. Lots of work ahead. Lots of terrible habits still in need of change. But at the end of the day, I think I was a better human being this week. And that counts for something.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 5
Want to cure a bad habit? Replace it with a different habit. Isn't that what we've been taught?
Well, I think I've stumbled on to my saving grace in overcoming late night television viewing and the need for caffeine. I call it: The Crackberry! Yep, I converted this week to a media phone. And I have to say, it may be the answer to a lot of my problems!
I thought I would live this regimented schedule for 35 days without fail. What I am finding is that I set far too many goals for myself to live them all perfectly. The human failing in me (aka: Meredith) says, "You didn't have any Dr. Pepper today, you deserve to stay up late watching TV." Or, "You didn't swear at all yesterday, so why not use two today to make up for it!" More difficult than overcoming bad habits, is overcoming self justification!
One thing I would change in doing this experiment again is that I have given myself far too many variables. If I start feeling more energy I can't really say whether it's because I am drinking less caffeine and simple sugars, I'm getting up earlier, going to bed earlier, or studying the gospel. I mean, why change all of these behaviors, if only one is making a difference:)
Well, I think I've stumbled on to my saving grace in overcoming late night television viewing and the need for caffeine. I call it: The Crackberry! Yep, I converted this week to a media phone. And I have to say, it may be the answer to a lot of my problems!
I thought I would live this regimented schedule for 35 days without fail. What I am finding is that I set far too many goals for myself to live them all perfectly. The human failing in me (aka: Meredith) says, "You didn't have any Dr. Pepper today, you deserve to stay up late watching TV." Or, "You didn't swear at all yesterday, so why not use two today to make up for it!" More difficult than overcoming bad habits, is overcoming self justification!
One thing I would change in doing this experiment again is that I have given myself far too many variables. If I start feeling more energy I can't really say whether it's because I am drinking less caffeine and simple sugars, I'm getting up earlier, going to bed earlier, or studying the gospel. I mean, why change all of these behaviors, if only one is making a difference:)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 4
I found this great quote as I was working on my spiritual goal of studying a conference talk by President Uchtdorf. I laughed right out loud when I read it, because it goes along so well with my training program:
He said, "How the Lord loves the laborer!" Then he quoted President Monson, "It is not enough to want to make the effort and to say we'll make the effort. It's in the doing not just the thinking that we accomplish our goals."
Ironic that I stumbled upon this quote this week. Or was it? I have to say, I'm not sure if it is the energy of getting up on time and having the time to study, or in the studying itself, but I am finding myself inspired again. There is nothing that compares to that little twitter in your soul when you feel you've hit on something meant especially for you from the Lord!
On the other hand, Meredith wishes the Lord loved the ideal man as much as the laborer!
He said, "How the Lord loves the laborer!" Then he quoted President Monson, "It is not enough to want to make the effort and to say we'll make the effort. It's in the doing not just the thinking that we accomplish our goals."
Ironic that I stumbled upon this quote this week. Or was it? I have to say, I'm not sure if it is the energy of getting up on time and having the time to study, or in the studying itself, but I am finding myself inspired again. There is nothing that compares to that little twitter in your soul when you feel you've hit on something meant especially for you from the Lord!
On the other hand, Meredith wishes the Lord loved the ideal man as much as the laborer!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 3
My mom came to visit and spent the night. Picture the most accomplished professional woman you know. Add to that compassion, sass, and deep intelligence. That is my mama! So going to bed on time and getting up on time was a breeze. After all, I couldn't very well have her disappointed in me! Although she frowned when she saw my no cursing goal. I think she sees '0' as a more appropriate amount of swearing.
But despite the great start, today has been the biggest challenge to my will power yet. I say that like it's been weeks and weeks. That is right folks, today was my first Dr. Pepper free day in a long time! Occasionally I've cut down on how much I drink a day. Occasionally I just don't have one because I'm not feeling like it. But it has been a while since I wanted one and didn't give in to that desire.
I even put myself in the line of temptation by accompanying my coworker to the corner 7-11 where we generally talk to Abdul the cashier for a minute and fill up our soda cups. I think Abdul was happy to see us, but definitely gave me an odd look when I purchased a bag of ice instead of a Big Gulp! But I held my ground, despite the odd looks from my fellow 7-11 big gulp addicts!
It wasn't a perfect day. I still had a sodalater, just not a caffeinated one. But to balance that out, I didn't use my one free swear word today. "Does that mean you get two tomorrow?"
. . . Shut up Meredith!
The odd thing about this experiment so far, is that I am so focused on the rules, I haven't really been paying attention to whether or not I feel better living a more regimented life. I guess it's like weight watchers. At first you can do nothing else but count the points, and eventually it comes naturally and you've lost ten pounds.
But despite the great start, today has been the biggest challenge to my will power yet. I say that like it's been weeks and weeks. That is right folks, today was my first Dr. Pepper free day in a long time! Occasionally I've cut down on how much I drink a day. Occasionally I just don't have one because I'm not feeling like it. But it has been a while since I wanted one and didn't give in to that desire.
I even put myself in the line of temptation by accompanying my coworker to the corner 7-11 where we generally talk to Abdul the cashier for a minute and fill up our soda cups. I think Abdul was happy to see us, but definitely gave me an odd look when I purchased a bag of ice instead of a Big Gulp! But I held my ground, despite the odd looks from my fellow 7-11 big gulp addicts!
It wasn't a perfect day. I still had a sodalater, just not a caffeinated one. But to balance that out, I didn't use my one free swear word today. "Does that mean you get two tomorrow?"
. . . Shut up Meredith!
The odd thing about this experiment so far, is that I am so focused on the rules, I haven't really been paying attention to whether or not I feel better living a more regimented life. I guess it's like weight watchers. At first you can do nothing else but count the points, and eventually it comes naturally and you've lost ten pounds.
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